Of Hamsters and Men: Tale of a Bushido Warrior

Written by: Elric the Bard
Posted on: September 19, 2001

Of Hamsters and Men: Tale of a Bushido Warrior

Chapter II: My Burrow for a Daisho
Walking back out into the wilderness, Raiko looked for a way to prove his worth: he did not have long to wait. As he travelled along a well-worn path, he constantly came across deformed quill rats firing nasty barby things, and huge Zombies trying to step on him. However, no Bushido would be afraid of such creatures, so Raiko leapt at them with his claws and scratched them to death. Before too long he came across a small cave, and entered it.

This cave was even worse than outside: there were these horrible little red beastie things, and they were all clutching their big-ugly beastly mother - or something - who coughed up fiery hairballs. Literally fighting tooth and nail, Raiko continued to kill all he saw until he came across a sight he was not ready for: a mouldy green corpse wandering about! Not about to let this remind him of his breakfast, Raiko leapt to the occasion to remind this creature its status: dead! Scratching its shins, scratching its face - why, he even scratched its back! Eventually the fiend succumbed to his vicious onslaught, and fell dead. Rummaging over the corpse, he came to an amazing discovery: a sword.

"I cannot believe it!" he stated in stunned amazement. "A Wakizashi, here, in this cave! I have my own sword already; truly, this is my lucky day. Thanks Mouldy, I owe you one."

With a smile and a click of his heels, Raiko left the cave with his Wakizashi ready.

After sneaking past another of the Sisters, who kept rudely firing arrows at poor Raiko, he managed to find his way out to a clear, flat region of the wilderness. However, this place was not devoid of evil: sword held out behind him, Raiko stepped forward for battle. After slaying countless foes with his sword, he came across an eerie graveyard. Just exploring it, in case there was a Katana lying about, he came across a horrific sight: a flaming arrow heading directly for him!

"Join my army of the dead!" cried a voice from the graveyard.

"Maybe," replied Raiko, "what kinds of benefits do you get? I'd expect regular leave, good pay and a good uniform: Torn Flesh of Souls would be nice!"
"Torn flesh? I have that! Join my army of the dead," and with that she fired a series of arrows at the poor Hamster.

"Fine then, if that's the way it's going to be. If you'll not willingly give me the uniform, I'll take it from you!"

Leaping up into the air, Raiko was able to dig his Wakizashi deep into the archer's knee. From here, he leapt up again and with a mighty blow was able to slay the fiend. Unfortunately, this did not seem to be the right thing to do. In mere moments, the entire army died and there was no Torn Flesh of Souls to be found anywhere.

"I bet she hid it in one of these tombs...but it's against the Bushido code of honour to loot a tomb, so I shall have to go without," and with that he collected a few items and returned to the Sister's camp.

Dumping a small pile of magical items in the centre of the camp, he quickly attracted the attention of the Sisters. So impressed were Gheed, Kashya and Akara that they actually spoke to him, and offered him help. However, when he tried to speak to Charsi she again screamed, so he left his items near her and collected the money she left for the 'item gnomes'.

"Poor girl," thought Raiko, "she must be the daughter of a BARbarian and Griswold if she still believes in 'item gnomes'."

"Little man," called Akara as Raiko went to leave the camp, "come here: I have something to give you."

"I'm not a little man," replied a frustrated Raiko, "I'm a Hamster! What do you want of me though?"

"I would like to reward you for your efforts to help us. Please accept this book. It was left here by a Bushido who passed many years ago: part of a series of five, it teaches young Bushido how to fight."

After thanking Akara, Raiko went off into the wilderness to study the book. In only a few days, he had already taken his first steps to mastery of the sword, and he even found a small Katana while he was practicing in a stony field. His Daisho complete, he felt ready to press onwards to Tristram...but where was that village? Knowing that all roads lead...somewhere, Raiko followed the first road he found and set off in search for the village. Even as it lead town to a dark tunnel, he pressed onward; after all, what is there to fear in the dark?
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